Cedrik's body dangled helplessly within the pit's gaping mouth, supported solely by Annie's grip upon his wrist.
"Climb Cedrik! Climb!" Annie called out urgently, her muscles quivering under the strain of their combined weight.
"I can't!" Cedrik yelled back, agony etched all too clearly in his voice. His injured arm, already painful before his fall, now burned as if on fire. However much he might've wished to, Cedrik simply couldn't summon up the strength to do anything more than hang helplessly beneath her.
"You've got to," cried Annie. "I can't hold on much longer!"
"Let me go Annie! You can't help me. Save yourself! LET GO!" Cedrik gasped sharply as Annie's grip on his wrist slipped and then caught again. The pain from his wound flared as torn muscle and sinew ripped even further apart, causing the small red stain upon his tunic to blossom into a crimson flower of warm blood.
"I won't let you fall!" Annie shouted. She tightened her grip, determined to save her friend.
"I've failed," sobbed Cedrik with bleak despair. "Danlin told me not to come; he knew I'd fail and now I have. But it's not just me that'll suffer. I brought you along with me when I should have made you stay behind. If you don't leave me we'll both die. And I'm not going to let you pay for my mistakes! At least I'll die knowing that I kept one of us alive!" Without wasting another moment, Cedrik reached down, snatched his dagger from its leather sheath, and swung his arm upward, slashing at Annie.
Taken by surprise, Annie reacted instinctively, releasing her grip and jerking her body away from the blade. What?! Is he crazy?! Annie thought in wild confusion. Almost instantly it dawned on her. Cedrik wasn't crazy at all. He wanted her to release him.
Cursing herself for being manipulated so easily, Annie lunged forward, desperately trying to grab Cedrik once more. She failed. Cedrik dropped rapidly out of sight, his body disappearing into the murky darkness.
Stunned, Annie stared down into the pit. How could everything have gone so wrong so quickly? What could she do? The harsh voices of the berserkers could be heard more loudly now, closing in with each passing second. Her heart torn by grief, Annie shouted out defiantly. "You won't win! Do you hear me? You won't!" The cold wind whipped the words back in her face, mocking her anguish.
"Aaah, forget it," Roger exclaimed in disgust, pushing his keyboard away. Killing off my two principal characters – just brilliant. I've had enough for one night. I'm going to bed."
Getting up from his desk, Roger walked to the doorway, clicked off the light, and walked quietly down the hallway. His story hung suspended, the words glowing softly on the small computer monitor.
*****
(And that's Installment Number 1 of Rosie and the Owl. Next update this coming Sunday.)
It’s not a bad start for a story, Crow, but . . .
having it be a story within a story, and letting us know that so soon wipes out all sympathy for Annie and Cedrik. Authors can go back and rewrite and change things anyway they want to. All concern for characters vanishes, at least it does for me, when we think of them as characters instead of people.
Good luck,
Ken
Ken, Ken, Ken … So little faith in Crow. Keep readin’
I couldn’t disagree more with Ken. Maybe it’s just me, but I think all characters have life! Now I’m even more worried about Annie & Cedrik’s fate… They are in the hands of a moody AUTHOR! What more dire place could there be?
Not only in the hands of a moody author, but the moody author is in the hands of another!
I’m intrigued; frankly, when I write my own short stories, I find myself caring about the characters I find it hard to have any bad fate happen upon them. Knowing the author in this is willing to kill off both leaves a worry more than berserkers could cause.
I love it, keep them coming.
PS, will updates be mentioned in NickyNews? Or do I need to sign up up for this? Or should I check this site every spare minute (I’d love to, if it would pay off
)
Updates will have a link in NickyNews and they’ll appear every Th and Su.
The site is new now and will be pumped up over time.
Thanks for the feedback!
Best
Crow